Life is too short to keep hating the person you love.
Every couple has conflict. But when you're having the same fight over and over — when the distance keeps growing and nothing seems to change it — that's not just conflict. That's a pattern. Patterns can be broken. But you may need some professional support. I offer couples therapy in Caldwell, NJ for people who are tired of saying the same thing to their partner over and over.
Schedule a Free ConsultationYou should be able to talk about real topics without fighting.
Many couples avoid talking about what’s bothering them because it always leads to an argument. They walk on eggshells as the tension slowly builds. Soon, even everyday logistical conversations escalate and explode. They go back into their separate corners, resolve nothing, and the cycle continues. Does that sound familiar?
I use Relational Life Therapy, developed by renowned family therapist Terry Real, author of the bestselling book Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship. RLT is direct, practical, and action-oriented. I’m here to name, break and replace your old pattern with a new one.
RLT is more direct than what you find in most couples therapy. I'm warm, understanding and genuinely on your side, but I'm against the problem behaviors that are damaging your relationship. You have a wise part of yourself that knows what would be best. I’m here to hear that part, ally with that part, and take on the old patterns. That's different from just validation without direction.
I offer weekly couples counseling and two-day "Save the Marriage" Intensives — both in person in Caldwell, NJ and via telehealth throughout Essex County and New Jersey.
Currently accepting new clients in Caldwell, NJ & throughout Essex County
I recognize these patterns. And I know how to interrupt them.
These are the situations I see most often in couples therapy. If any of these sound familiar, you're not alone, and there's a path forward.
What couples therapy with me can do for you
Couples usually:
I'm a Licensed Professional Counselor based in Caldwell, NJ, trained in Terry Real's Relational Life Therapy, the model behind his bestselling book Us. Couples work is one of my deepest areas of focus, and my approach is probably firmer than most therapists you've encountered. I'm warm toward the people in the room and firmly opposed to the behaviors damaging their relationship. That combination of compassion and accountability in equal measure, is what RLT is built around.
I work with couples in all kinds of situations. High-conflict, low-connection, post-betrayal, and everything in between. I'm not here to listen to you have your same old fight in front of an audience. I'm here to name what I see,, give you the tools, and empower you to do something different.
I'm currently accepting new couples and offer a free 20-minute consultation to start.
How I do couples therapy in Caldwell, NJ
I use Relational Life Therapy (RLT), developed by Terry Real, one of the most respected voices in couples work and author of the bestselling book Us. RLT is built around a simple but powerful idea: most couples don't need to understand each other better, they need to treat each other better. That requires interrupting the patterns, not just discussing them.
My style is probably firmer than most couples therapists you've encountered. I'm warmly on the side of both people in the room but I'm firmly opposed to the problem behaviors that are keeping your relationship stuck. I call them out, directly and respectfully. That's not harshness, it is honesty in service of your relationship.
- Name the cycle clearly. Most couples don't need to understand each other better. They need to treat each other better. That's what we work toward, not insight for its own sake, but real change in how you show up for each other.
- Firm against the problem, warm toward the person. I create an alliance between myself and both of you, against the patterns hurting your relationship. You're not the enemy. The dynamic is.
- Direct, honest feedback. I'll name what I see. I won't just validate everyone indefinitely and hope things improve. Respectful honesty is what creates real movement.
- Skills that work in the room and at home. Insight isn't enough. I give you concrete tools you can use in the actual moments that matter, not just in session.
- Both partners, equally accountable. I'm not on anyone's side individually. I hold both of you to the same standard and help both of you grow.
- Local and accessible. In person in Caldwell, NJ, or telehealth throughout Essex County — West Caldwell, Verona, Montclair, Livingston, Roseland, and all of New Jersey.
Currently accepting new clients · Caldwell, NJ & Essex County
"Most couples don't need to understand each other better. They need to treat each other better. That's what we work toward — not insight for its own sake, but real change in how you show up for each other."— Chris Tomkins, LPC · Caldwell, NJ
"Save the Marriage" Intensives
Two focused days to change things for good.
For couples who can't wait months to feel a difference, or who've tried weekly therapy before without lasting results. Two concentrated days using Relational Life Therapy to disrupt patterns that nothing else have touched.
I've seen couples arrive on the first morning barely speaking and leave on the second day with a completely different opinion of their future together. Focused, effective work breaks patterns and instills hope.
Couples therapy — your questions answered
Does couples therapy actually work?
Yes. 70% of couples report significant improvement after couples counseling. Research is currently ongoing to see if RLT results exceed that mark.
What if my partner doesn't want to come?
This is common. Schedule a session and invite them to join. They almost always show up rather than let you go talk about them without them there. When they do, they realize I’m on their side (and yours) and I know what to do.
Should I start with weekly sessions or a couples intensive?
Weekly sessions build change gradually over time, typically 12–20+ sessions for a meaningful shift. Intensives compress that work into two focused days. Some people like to start with weekly sessions to see if I know what I’m talking about before they invest in the intensive. Others do the intensive right away after the consultation. You can decide what’s best for you.
Do you take sides in couples therapy?
Sometimes! Relationship dynamics are always co-created and we’ll explore both sides. But it’s not always 50-50! If a partner is abusing the other, that’s not 50-50. I will give you honest opinions of what I see and what I think you ought to try instead. I will model how to speak with kindness, firmness and honesty all at once.
What if we're not sure we want to stay together?
I can help explore that through discernment counseling.
What if we’re definitely breaking up, but we have kids?
I offer co-parenting therapy.
Do you offer telehealth for couples therapy in NJ?
Yes. Weekly couples sessions are available via secure telehealth to couples anywhere in New Jersey. The two-day intensive is in-person only at my Caldwell, NJ office.
Do you take insurance for couples therapy?
I'm an out-of-network provider, which means I don't bill insurance directly. After sessions I provide a superbill you can submit to your insurance company for potential reimbursement. Couples sessions are $275 (60 min). HSA and FSA accounts are accepted.
Explore other therapy services
Your relationship is worth fighting for.
Let me help you fight smarter.
I'm currently accepting new couples in Caldwell, NJ and throughout Essex County. Schedule a free 20-minute consultation — no commitment, just a conversation to see if I'm the right fit for you both.
Schedule a Free Consultation12 Smull Ave, Caldwell, NJ 07006 · 973-500-8892 · Essex County, NJ